OMG! I was updating the app on my phone today that helps me keep track of my cycle. As I began searching for the symptoms I am having, I began to laugh. Out loud.
Not a hearty, full laugh…more like a nervous giggle I guess.
I imagine I looked like a loon laughing at a menstrual app, now that I think about it…..
As I began picking from the various choices, I noticed it took quite a while to scroll to the bottom of the list.
Take a look at what the choices are:
- Abdominal Cramps
- Astriction (Huh?) Turns out that is a nice word for constipation based on the picture they chose to use. Gross.
- Body aches
- Breast sensitivity
- Breast tenderness
- Cervical firmness
- Cervical mucus
- Cervical opening
- Hectic Fever
- Hot Flashes
- Muscle Pain
- Neck Aches
- Night Sweats
- Shoulder Ache
- Social Anxiety
- Trouble Concentrating
- Weight Gain
- In Love
- Normal (No such thing)
- No Patient
So, ladies, it is no wonder we are so irritated (I mean, complex….). These are not just words listed in a post.
These are deep emotional roadblocks and can be a destructive force to everyone around us. I think words can be used too loosely to describe pain sometimes.
Take the word “stressed” for example. You probably hear people say they are stressed all the time. “Oh! I’m so stressed”. Really? Are you really that stressed, or are you doggone annoyed life is not going your way at the moment and you’d rather have a different outcome?
When a woman with PMDD says “I’m stressed”. Her body hurts so bad she can barely move. Her brain and body shut down. Exhaustion overtakes her and there is no choice but to put her head down. The stress paralyzes her mind and body and she cannot take one more second of misfortune or she might decide it is no longer worth fighting with this world anymore.
So what reaction do you have to stress? Next time you hear your wife, daughter, mother or friend with PMDD say “I’m stressed”. Listen more to what she is not saying and what is lurking under the surface. She doesn’t have the strength to tell you the rest.
Guys, be patient. Be kind. Be love to your partner in this life. These symptoms and moods are for the most part out of her control. Truly.
Over time, we can recognize the symptoms if we are fortunate enough to realize what it is.
We can excuse ourselves when we become acutely aware of our mind and body during this time….and 90% of what you see, hear and even feel is not personal.
One last thought. Ladies, we also cannot use PMDD as an excuse to lose control. We will lose control, but over time, learn from it.
Learn your own symptoms so well you can spot when you end and PMDD begins.
Embrace it, even, and know the people around you are important enough to fight for.
Fight the urge to say what is on your mind and just walk away from conflicts when you know it’s not you talking. It isn’t how you really feel anyway.
No one knows the depth of your pain. They cannot know unless they’ve experienced it. I know you want desperately to make everyone understand you are hurting.
I understand you don’t want to be alone in your rage. It is a frightening place to be.
Learn your own methods to pull in your words, actions and feelings for a split second so you are able to excuse yourself.
Educate those around you. Have conversations when the storm is calm.
Let them know when you do leave, you are not mad at them. It is important for them to know they’ve probably done nothing wrong or at least their offense is minor compared to how angry it’s making you.
PMDD is a bully. But it is does not have to win the fight in the end.
Don’t give up.
You are stronger than you know.
We will figure this out together…..